My Blog

Sometime ago and I can’t remember when but it’s just sometime

I find myself sharing a night with a lobster friend (fond of calling him that way!)

Atop on the mountain over -looking the well lit metro.

Lobster is down with his defined but sometime un define relationship,

They delineate the universe for them but always crash either in love or being friends.

Perhaps you will freeze in vain if you try to define them.

While I, not as down as Lobster.Only anticipating odd pain!

Trying to unload the pain? Actually it’s a comic pain, hilarious, and the most weird.

Nothing to delineate because it’s well define. I just want to delve on it perhaps.

The universe conspired that we’re there harboring the most stupid pain one can ever imagined.

Lobster is the most down and I am half hearted down and we’re on top looking down.

And here the story goes….

Intoxicated as seemed Lobster shared the story of “WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?”

We have our own cheese to cheese with.

Perhaps different in versions.Him, cheesing with her?! And Me, chasing or crushing or crashed with him?

To cut short, I don’t know if we ever come into a consensus?

For I know, I know he will be moving my cheese soon.

And he did.

The day that I thought it was my world alone, it was not

The day that I thought you’re just proud, until now you are.

The day you step in, you do not register and not even a meek.

The day you shared your life, it’s your gravity that I insist.

Vague as to the beginning, it’s a maze that amazed me more.

There’s no turning back. Forward is the word.

You’re the frosty the snow man that shields me to freeze.

Seen by two, anecdote to all.

Frost is over but still it’s the day that I thought it’s world alone but it was not.

Fanatical thoughts of you are in my mind.

Heretics find it weird and likewise me.

Why in the world you’re so perfect to my eye wherein fact you are not.

A radio gaga in the morning, buff at night.

I buffed too because of you.I practice your ways too.

Like a balloon, I inflate when I am near you.

The kind of air that I like to bounce with over and over.

Fragile as it is, I know you don’t mind popping it.

It’s like chasing rainbows in the sky..too impossible.

Why rock a ship from sailing so smoothly?

I am devil to many, I just want to be an angel to you.

If these thoughts will forsake me then how can I be happy?

Amorously at far thou so close is so impossible.

I sometimes wondered where youare when all along I am here?

It doesn’t make sense I guess because we are just ordain to meet just now.

Never a hero that can rescue you..

A rat that turns to pumpkin and at the strike of 12, surely reality comes in..

Can you just make me Princess?

Daylight without consideration of your being is like a bird that travels in the speed of a turtle.

alam mong ikaw at di ito maikakatwa

sa tingin pa lang, alam mong ikaw na

sa mga mata mong parang di nakakatunay ngunit nakakatuwa

pataas ma’y mapapantay din..

maitim pa sa dugo ng pusit

ngunit galamay mo’y nakakasaling

bukas uli… isang sigundo di na pwedeng sayangin

Been a long time since I wrote about my cOnfinement and nOw it’s over. Literally, a confinement of my own world. I seems to lost almost everything. I lost someone in my life so significantly and losing her makes me numbed. Regressing the day she passed was all that I do. How come tragedy conspired with her death?? was it really too late or things really has to be that way?? who to blame when all they thinking is me!! My welfare and my sanity. How in the world I planned so well, well in fact.. these are all be gone. It crumpled right into my face!! Nakedly I saw it running, so furious, so dreaded and so unimagining. Time has betrayed me. It never gives me time even to contemplate. Stolen to me by her preying dreaded disease.

Where in the world I will find the cure?? I climb mountain as high as the Everest or dip in the pacific when its freezingly high? Anywhere I go, it seems to have no cure. Why? time and people has conspired. They all make me numbed,dumbed and doomed!! Perhaps, the most idiotic sheep in the fields. Running just like the other but no direction at all. They let me think that the boat is still sailing inspite of the odds. Not knowing I am stirring a ship that has been wrecked a long time ago. I was betrayed and I cant blamed them for all they think that is the most prudent way to handle the situation.

Perhaps, may be, I dont really know if they are right? May be the best way to ease a pain? they’re the most significant persons in my life and who I am to question their sobriety in handling the situation.

I know nothing to do but to move on…but I still have to juggle time for far more days, months and perhaps… a year!!( oh God!! ). My God’s plea…take away my heart.I don’t know if I lost someone very special or not?? His a rare specie so to speak,, His someone I can’t never be… his wit and his faith. I seems to lost God by my side. He completes my faith.But somebody has to give up. hearts’ bleed as tears flow down . Time heal all wounds… just don’t know when??

I grew up trailing Taft Avenue.This one road sign that witness my ups and downs in life, for me it’s my highway to heaven which is my Home, and at the same time my valley of tears too.Perhaps, I mastered every intersection and I am used to it.It’s my comfort zone!! I never go far from Taft Avenue; it becomes my barometer in choosing my workplace.The funny thing was as long as it is connected to Taft Avenue, I say “GO” with some considerations still.

Now, it’s the Parallel line I hate the most that I am trying to love and get accustomed with.It’s the thought that “never know what will hit you?” or “people change as they get old?” oh noh!!!! Well, I am old but not that old (Hahah).Twist of faith, I accepted a job that connects Taft Avenue longer than I expected.First, I thought it was a wrong moved?? But then and again with careful considerations, I try not to leave every coin unturned so I grabbed the opportunity with delight!I ACCEPTED THE JOB and conquering EDSA for the nth time now.

EDSA is not my way in fact I am so scared knowing that I will passed EDSA. I remember my NBI Agent friend used to tell me that a “shortest point to a distance is a parallel line”, this has been my vendetta in liking EDSA and now, I love EDSA with a smile.

Two days away from this writing, I had experienced perhaps my ultimate EDSA ride.Well, not that I am riding in luxurious limo or with the VIP’s.It’s a free spirited ride, a helmet ride!With the goose bumps, I rode with vigor.Gee!! It brings so much fun and excitement to me.My very first helmet rides in a parallel line.I’d like to wish then that EDSA is longer!!nyahaha.Thanks to the stirrer who takes care of himself more than me.The stirrer’s instructions is so loaded that freezing like hell is what he wants me to do I think?? Hehe!! This adds spice to my helmet ride.We’re ying/yang- I am the positive and free spirited and this stirrer, the negative and the full of apprehensions.Well, can’t  blame my stirrer perhaps the conformist of all times while I am the jail breaker! In spite of our individuality, we still had a good time.At least on my side, I really, really and never ending really enjoy my helmet ride.I enjoyed the showcase of my stirrer’s very fashionable, scattered but very humble heaven.The lung center session, the laundry skill, the it’s “my heaven” attitude and the half almost naked to my eyes catwalk ramp! (gosh!!!)The gift giving?!!hehe; the gala suite(just the need to unload from my stirrer’s limited closet!!) wonder why and the set that will be forever be precious though it was given with forced and kulet (haha) but with the later consent of course. The turnabout (are we really lost?) and to top it all- my own version of harassment (Lobo style: Angel and Piolo in the Helmet ride!!) corny po but you never know what will hit you! Come to think of it, I’ve come to realize that I am doing it after the entire scene kasi po Masaya talaga ang feeling.These memoirs to cherish forever and to my stirrer, million thanks and on the next life… I wish I will have a forever helmet ride with you and not for limited engagement only.Next schedule please??!!!

I never thought that I will able to conquer my fear.  Well, thanks to our  DND – Office for the Philippine Defense Reform Team Building.    The activity was to cross the bridge and it was a hanging bridge!!!! Gosh.. It’s my fear of heights that makes me insane.  To me, it’s a nerve wracking and my little neurons that are still active suddenly felt the need to retreat.  My goodness, if a picture paints a thousands word then why can’t I described you.  Poise is no longer the issue: actually I just lost it during the activity.